A British woman is using her family’s tragedy to remind others of the importance of forgiveness and humility. Ashley Murrell, a 33-year-old mother of three from Somerset, England, got into a heated argument with her husband Mikey after he came home from a long day at work exhausted and beat down. The 36-year-old carpet cleaner had just completed a 16-hour shift, and Ashley was concerned he was working too hard and not taking proper care of himself. The two got into a fight, and Ashley told her husband to sleep on the couch. That would be the last time she ever spoke to him.
The Bible says to never let the sun go down on our anger, and if you’ve ever been in a heated relationship with a loved one, you know that can be much easier said than done. It takes a lot of humility to suppress anger and pride in order to let peace rule the day.
“I had a go at him and told him to sleep on the sofa which was stupid because I really just wanted him around more,” she told Yahoo. “When I came out of the bedroom and saw him the next morning I knew something was wrong straight away.”
Mikey died in his sleep, and while the autopsy revealed he had choked, the cause of death is considered “inconclusive.”
Ashley is now attempting cope with the sudden loss, while comforting her grieving children. She and Mikey married in 2010, at which time he adopted her 14-year-old daughter Morgan. The couple welcomed twins Mikey Junior and Lisa in 2013.
Ashley remembered her husband as the kind of guy who would do anything for anyone.
“Mikey was so caring, if he walked into a room and saw someone unhappy he would be the first person there trying to cheer them up,” she said. “He absolutely loved his family. He wanted his kids to have all the things in life that he didn’t and he worked so hard to make that happen.”
But that devotion likely led to his downfall.
“He would work 16-hour shifts, seven days a week just so he could save up enough to take us all to Disney every year. He was so worn out but he would do anything just to see us smile,” she recalled. “But the hours he was working were just getting too much. He was so exhausted all the time and he was running himself into the ground and his health was going downhill fast.”
On the night Mikey died, Ashley said he was “a mess” when he came home, and she had “never seen him so exhausted.” He suffered from several injuries and conditions, including spinal arthritis, and seeing him in such a bad way that evening made her “angry.” It was that anger that led her to tell him to sleep on the couch.
“After his injury Mikey never properly healed,” she said. “[But] even when he was at his worst he would push himself with work and any time he had off he’d be doing everything with the kids.”
While she admitted to long fearing her husband’s lack of self care would be detrimental to his health, she was certainly not prepared to lose him so soon. She still feels guilty for her final words to him being “out of anger” and can only hope her loss reminds others of the importance of forgiveness and never going to bed angry.
“I knew something like this was going to happen, I knew he was doing too much but you can never prepare yourself for this,” she said. “Losing Mikey has changed my entire perspective on life. Life is too short to go to bed angry and not to spend every moment you can with your family.”